omgomgomg

Jebus.

I have my Estonian mock exam tomorrow. An essay. At least 4 pages in 6 hours.

I am starting to get really really nervous.

I suck at writing essays. I usually get a 4 and in rare cases 5 as a mark but... I just hate writing them. It's like torture. I have to force myself to sit behind a table and think of clever things to say.

And the topics... how to say this delicately... they're shit. I could write something about almost every topic but I don't want to. They're not topics that make me go "wow, I have so many thoughts about this and I can't wait to put them to paper yaylolz!".
They're more like "... shiiiiit, how the fuck am I gonna write 4 pages about this crap??"
You know what I mean?
It's not fun. I have to struggle to write something suitable... It's stressful and depressing.

If I could, I would do a grammar test or something similar. I just don't want to be forced to write when I don't want to write. D:
It's especially stressful 'cause if I get a low score, I'm gonna have a hard time getting into universities. Not to mention, if I get less than 20 points = FAIL. Can't finish school if I fail.

Shiiiiit.

This is only the mock exam but I'm so scared. X_____X

At least I'm prepared: I've got water, an energy drink, chocolate (Kalev's biscuit- and plum pieces choc of course) and about a dozen pens. Or ball-point pens, as my dear English teacher likes to say. And napkins. I even downloaded an audio-book. Chuck Palahniuk "Survivor". =D I won't need it for the exam but it'll be great to listen to when I'm going home after the exam. xD

That is if I'm survive the exam... I just might have a stroke and die.